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But an hour later, walking into the specified bar in the West Village, I immediately understood why people take the time to screen each other via text.

Tinder guy turned out to be two of my worst fears combined: a short actor.

When I woke up from that nap, I downloaded Tinder.“How bad could it be? Funnily enough, despite Tinder’s reputation as a hook-up app, most people don’t want to meet soon after matching, but rather engage in hours of meaningless texting—about the latest trendy food hybrid, about how Brooklyn is so expensive—which is something I can’t stand doing with friends, let alone strangers.

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First there’s shell shock, followed by denial, and then some combination of paralysis, anger, and loneliness.As is common with short actors, this guy was very fond of himself, and within minutes he was playing aloud a recording of himself singing a song from his upcoming off-Broadway show.As I politely smiled and nodded along to the ballad—a duet!Although he posed it less as a question and more as an offer, adding that he’d had a few threesomes in the past that were “OK or whatever,” but he’d be willing to have another if it’s what wanted.I said it was very generous of him, and before I knew it, he was leading me into a nearby gay bar, where he suggested I “find a girl for a group sex,” despite the fact that 98 percent of the people in the bar were gay men.